Dating Safety, Date Ideas, Data Tips, First Date Ideas and Tips, Great Places to Date, Dating Dislikes, The Nature of Dating Advice

dating safety

Salt & Pepper Singles is not responsible for the outcome of any dates. We are concerned for your safety. Here are some SUGGESTED "Do's and Don'ts" for safely finding interracial personal love, romance, friendship, companionship and pen pals.

PRELIMINARY CONTACT

A good profile gives you a fair insight into the individual's personality and something about how they see themselves. It is often times not as important that they see in themselves the same things others see in them; rather it is more important that they are willing to share it with you in their profile.

Short profiles making statements such as ". . . tell you more later . . .", I am "tall" and seeking "tall girl" are your first flags that the poster may not be sincere . . . If this is all they have time or inclination for, could that also be you fate should you contact them?

A valued and affective profile may not be one that all the words are spelled correctly or all the grammer is correct, but rather that they tried the best they could to convey their message in their search for that someone special.

"TALKING ON THE PHONE"

TRUST . . . DO trust your instincts . . . if this person sounds fake or phony, or too good to be true, then they probably are. Look for words that signal a lack of honesty, promises of what the two of you "might, could, or would do" on your first date or slick monologues/dialogues. If you feel strange or apprehensive, then cut your conversation short, and/or end any plans for a date or interracial personal encounter.

ASK . . . DO ask questions, after all, you are trying to get to know this person for a possible dating, love, friendship or companionship relationship. Ask how you can locate their personal ad or profile online at the site so you can view it.

PRIVACY . . . DON'T tell all . . . never include your last name, place of employment, address, phone number, or home address over the phone until you feel safe to do so!!! And never do so in your personal ad / profile.

THE KEY . . . Remember you are never obligated to spend time with or to meet any of our single ladies or gentlemen . If you do decide to meet someone for a date, you have the right to change your mind!!!

GO . . . DO go with your hunches, never meet someone who pressures or "goes against the grain". . . DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

FACE TO FACE CONTACT

"THE FIRST DATE"
PAY ATTENTION . . . DON'T overindulge in any mood altering substance that might hamper or cloud your ability to stay alert and cautious. Do pay attention to your suspicions. Don't meet someone if you feel at all uncertain or afraid. Do listen to your instincts . . . if a voice inside says "no go" then find an excuse to end this dating game.

SECRETS . . . DON'T keep your date a secret . . . make sure that a friend or family member knows about your date (what, where, when.) Be sure to check in with them when you arrive at the location of your date and when you arrive back home.

SAFETY . . . DO select the safest possible meeting place. Do meet where you are comfortable and in a public place where there are other people around (coffee house, restaurant, library, church). Don't meet at one of your homes or places of employment.

AVOID . . . DO avoid secluded places, late night rendezvous, hikes, swims, bike rides, etc. in remote areas unless there are others around. Do Not be alone with your new friend be it a man or woman immediately.

TRANSPORTATION . . . DO take your own car. . . if you decide to move your original meeting place to another location, you should be secure and independent and make sure you've notified a friend or family member of your new date location.

TRAVEL . . . DO try these travel tips if you're meeting out of the area. . . Do arrange for your own transportation. Don't disclose the name of your hotel. Don't let your date make the arrangements unless you agreed prior to your date. Do call your date from the hotel and meet at the location you already agreed upon. ***Always let someone know your plans***

PLANNING . . . DON'T plan an entire day together, there will be other times to discuss all the dimensions of each other. Be smart . . . Meet for one activity and keep it simple. Stay away from intense conversations and unwanted encounters.

ENJOY . . . DO remember to relax and enjoy yourself!!

ASK . . . DON'T interrogate your date .. relax, chat and ask friendly questions.

HAVE FUN . . . DO have fun, but pay attention and watch for red flags:
displays of anger

COMMON SENSE . . . DON'T do anything you feel unsure about . . . You have the right to say "NO".

BE SAFE . . . DON'T stay in an unsafe situation . . . get out of there . . . excuse yourself

CALL . . . DO call the police when necessary . . . it's always better to be safe than sorry. DON't feel embarrassed to ask for help . . . your safety is more important than another person's opinion of you.

BE HONEST . . . DO end your date in a public place where people are present . . . when the time is appropriate, thank your date and bid him/her goodbye. DO be honest . . . Remember, this person just might be your Soul Mate. You may be asked for another date. Answer honestly. If you feel comfortable with this person, it is alright to say "Yes" to another date. And more importantly, it is alright to say "No" if you are uncomfortable . . . but be polite.

REMEMBER

• BE SMART
• DON'T GIVE INTO PRESSURE
• FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS
• TELL SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR PLANS
• MEET IN A SECURE AND SAFE PLACE HAVE FUN, RELAX

- GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN -

...For more info about dating tips, please visit Salt And Pepper Singles

Date Ideas and Tips

Go to a playground that's not in use and play! Take along a picnic lunch, baseball, bat, Frisbee or outdoor toys (blowing bubbles is fun)? Have a great lunch after playtime.

Don't surprise your date with a hatchet movie, meal, etc. on the first date. They may be allergic to horror films - and you don't want to 'surprise' a vegetarian with a dinner at Harvey's House of Beef. With a 'surprise' date you could end up with a teetottler at a wine-tasting, or a lactose-intolerant date at a cheese fest - you get the picture...

Be honest, don't play games. Avoid even stretching the truth, the first time you're caught it will destroy your credibility.

Be on time. Lateness is inconsiderate (not to mention it reveals all sorts of things about your personality such as your passive-aggressive tendencies). If your date is late, be pleasant, and listen to their reason - it might be legitimate.

Tell yourself you're not nervous, just excited.

If your date compliments you don't just brush it off or say something rude about yourself, say thank you and do NOT put yourself down.

If you're concerned about topics of conversation, be sure to read a newspaper or watch a news program that day so you're up on world events.

Be open -- to your date's ideas about what to do on the date and express yourself honestly (AND tactfully).

Don't manhandle your date and don't rush sex!

Keep the first date brief. Leave them wishing for more, not wondering how to escape.

Stay away from someone who only talks about money and 'things' or who boasts - usually signs of deep-seated insecurity.

Don't talk about marriage and kids and long-term plans for the two of you on your first dates.

Be clear about the date, time and place...and be on time! Don't leave things hanging with "I'll call you later with the details?

Keep topics light and keep away from controversial issues on the first date. Also, refrain from using off-color language or jokes, or making sexual references.

Try a sporting event neither one of you have ever seen live: a polo match, professional tennis tournament, golf tournament, dressage, volleyball, tractor-pull, sumo-wrestling - whatever you can agree on doing together that's different.

Collect cocktail napkins or other mementos from all the places you have been together.

Help solve a problem by writing a letter to together to the love doctor - "Dr TRuth."

Remember, games can be fun. Monopoly, computer games for two, card games, and end it all with a game of Twister...For more info about dating tips, please visit Links 2 Love

The Nature of Dating Advice

by Ian McNeice

Dating advice is often given by the most well-meaning of people. Unfortunately they are often the least qualified people to give it. How many times have mothers mentioned that there are "plenty more fish in the sea" when we announce our partner has finished the relationship. Most advice we receive is well meaning but also unhelpful. This is primarily because when we need advice the most if is usually from the wrong sources. When we need to talk, our friends just want us to get "better", be more positive etc.

The best dating advice often seems to come from people who have been in the same situations as ourselves and have gained some comforting wisdom that we can equate to. The more we understand and agree with what is being said, the more common and shared the experience the more it is something we will choose to take in. The problem when seeing dating advice is that there are not too many places to turn. Sure there is Relate for marriage counseling and there are professional agencies and "experts" to help those of us who are getting divorced, but there is almost nothing to help us when we do what everyone does - date.

I personally feel that the best dating advice available to us is from single people, those of us who are at the sharp end of the dating equation. When you are trying to find someone to take to dinner, or accompany you to a function, when you have weekend after weekend to fill and yearn to spend time in stimulating company then it is to single people that you must look for inspiration.

Strangely we seek out those who are in couples for support in times of crisis, perhaps because they have "made it", they are where we want to be, so we trust their judgment. But what brought them together is not necessarily of help to you. And believe me, people in relationships soon forget what it was like to be single. I have heard some of the most useless dating advice of all from couples so I recommend that if you are currently single and playing the dating game, compare notes with like minded people. Couples will drive you crazy and remind you too often how smugly nice it is to be happy.

When dating, the thing we should always remember is that advice is simply what someone else thinks might assist you. The person giving this advice may not necessarily have any idea of your true state of mind of your particular circumstances. How can someone know what you should say or what you should so, or where you should meet apart from the usual practical ideas. But then there is an equally and opposite forceful argument....For more info about dating tips, please visit Top Dating Tips

Dating Tips Q&A: Getting women to pick YOU up

by: David DeAngelo, Author of "Double Your Dating"

Hey David D!

Who says there's no such thing as magic? When it comes to women, cocky+funny is PURE 100% magic. It is one of the major keys to getting her making her comfortable with you, to getting her number, to getting the date, kissing, getting laid, EVERYTHING! Your stuff is pure platinum my man! Looking back on mailbags from over a year ago, I still shake my head and say: "Man, this guy is good. I cant wait 'till I am able to pull off those lines like that!" The lines are so funny and with cockyness, it just blows them away! Everytime you do it, you can just FEEL the women responding to you in a positive way and not trying to ignore you or get away from you when you act like a wuss-bag. They are always laughing and smiling and even THEY tend to get touchy-feely, asking me for MY number and then calling ME (of course, I always get their numbers too) or asking me to call them, asking me when we're going out, and even asking ME for sex. I could not believe it! And often, this could happen within minutes or hours of meeting...not weeks, months, or years like I once thought it took. I suggest all guys especially the skeptics out there to get your stuff. It works!

What I LOVE is how you say making it look like as if a woman is picking YOU up. It sure takes the pressure off of the situation. It's all in the mindset. You are not nervous because you know she wants you and is trying to get you...not the other way around. Then you act accordingly. Here's just a few of the lines I use:

"Look, just because you're being sweet to me doesnt mean I'm going to sleep with you. What? You thought I was THAT easy? Cummon!"

(with women at work or women working somewhere) "How can you possibly get any work done when you're flirting with me all the time? I know I'm a stud and all but if you lose your job, dont think I'm going to support you!" ...For more info about dating tips, please visit Bullz-Eye.com